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Serious Relationship
Getting Out In A Bad Relationship
So, you thought you have finally found the ONE.
Someone who has an established career, with stable financial status, responsible, good looking, intelligent, and good-humored person has finally come into your life.
But, just when you thought you've finally met the ideal man or woman of your dreams, everything seems to be wrong and complicated. Suddenly, he has lost his job, she went bankrupt, he became careless, and she became paranoid about everything. You try to help your partner in dealing with the issues but it always turns out that he or she's too good to ask help from anybody-even you.
Still, despite everything you still do almost everything to help your beau without you realizing that he or she slowly drags you into the pit of depression and helplessness they're in. When you feel that you are no longer healthy, happy, and growing in the relationship, that's the time when you are trapped in bad relationship.
Being stuck and stranded
It is always hard to end any kind of relationship-especially if it's a romantic relationship. But, no matter how hard to end something that you thought is precious, you should know when to end a relationship especially if you are well-aware that its not doing you any good.
The signs of the times would probably tell you if you are already being stuck in a bad relationship. Experts agree that the relationship is already bad when the couple is going through unusual periods of disagreement and bitterness that can be evitable in some relationships. You will also know if you are already in the pit of a bad relationship when it involves incessant aggravation and everything-even your partner-seems to be out of your reach.
The main determinant if you are in a bad relationship is the behavior of your partner. You can tell that you are being caught up in a bad relationship if your partner is beyond your reach of communication and comprehension, he or she doesn't want to make any commitment, doesn't profess his or her feelings even if there is a sort of commitment or plainly incapable of loving someone else besides him or herself.
Studies also show that in any bad relationship, the couple is often on dissimilar wavelengths that there is almost no common ground and no connection or communication that result to irritation and disappointment.
Since bad relationships usually stem from chronic reciprocation of what one or both partners need, the relationship itself can even damage the self-esteem of the persons involved. Bad relationships are also destructive for persons especially those who have invested so much in their careers for their personal lives since these serve as a perfect breeding ground for rage, bitterness, self-doubt, melancholy, and distress.
Aside from emotional distress, staying in a bad relationship can be hazardous to someone's health. The most common hazard of bad relationship is the physical harm caused by an abusive partner. In less severe cases, being in a bad relationship can cause tensions and various chemical changes often triggered by so much stress.
Being in a bad relationship reflects so much on the person's overall health and well-being because it can drain energy, thus, lowering the body's resistance to illness. The common health hazards of being in a bad relationship include severe headaches, back pains, and stomachaches caused by anger and frustration; insomnia and melancholy caused by emotional distress; and weight problems caused by irregular behavioral patterns and depression.
If couples continue to be in a relationship that is no longer healthy, they will try to find a way to escape from being stuck inside by being alcoholic or drug dependent. Worse, being stuck in an unhealthy relationship can eventually lead to recurrent suicide attempts.
Breaking free
What most people inside relationships do not realize is that the more they try to work things out, things get more and more complicated. This is because both people in the relationship try so hard to pass through the stage without realizing that they are detaching themselves with their respective partners. As a result of this detachment is misunderstanding, incompatibility, and soon enough, falling out of love.
If you are already in a bad relationship that robs you off your freedom to be yourself, the freedom to love other person, and the freedom to get out of an unhealthy and destructive relationship, here are some of the things you can do to recover.
1. Consider your wellness as the first priority in life whether you are in or out of a romantic relationship.
2. Try to be "selfish" at times by focusing on your own needs above all else.
3. Be strong enough to deal with your own problems.
4. Have a positive outlook in life and cultivate whatever positive values you acquired within the relationship.
5. Nurture you spiritual side and try to look for ways or activities that can bring you inner peace.
6. If the relationship was quite traumatic, think of getting professional help or find a support group where you can chare your experiences and the lessons you have learned.
7. Don't be afraid to fall in love but try to be more cautious next time so you won't be stuck in a bad relationship.
My Relationship Tips has hundreds of relationship and dating articles for men and women. Article Source: ArticlesBase.com
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What wrong with my boyfriend?
Ok I have been dating this guy for over a year. I?m a 45 year old woman and he?s a 50 year old man. He has never had a serious relationship or lived with a woman. He says it?s because he?s in the military and he gets transferred every 3 or 4 years so I told him why didn?t he just ask the woman to move with him?.there are other people in the military and they do have girlfriend or wives.
And he said he might be transferred to about 5000 km from where he is now living and still he doesn?t want me to move in with him, he just wants me visit him. And get this at 50 years old I was the first girl he introduce to his parents and his siblings, yes I am not joking. I am also the first girl he?s introduced to his co-workers from the military.
Now I have to drive 2 hours every weekend to see him and I?ve told him that it would be very easy for me to get transferred to where he lives (I?m not in the military) and no he?s not ready and he?s not sure so I don?t push but his male friend got recently divorce and now lives with my boyfriend.
My boyfriend took a few days off from work because his male friend was upset due to his wife divorcing him and my boyfriend also took days off to support him at court and he even took time off from work to make him a home made lasagne?he never baked me a lasagne and I cook him meals and bake him home made pies all the time.
My boyfriend is sad now because his male friend is moving out of his place in a few weeks and he told me that he (my boyfriend) would be lonely and misses his friend (male).
My boyfriend has told me in front of his male friend that he has been dreaming about his male friend so I said what?I?m a woman and you dream of him???
He has 2 lesbian sisters and a gay brother and they will be visiting next weekend, so I have to stay somewhere else because there will be not enough place to sleep at my boyfriend?s but he insists that his male friend meets his family???
Plus my boyfriend loves to swim so he told me after his male friend moves out he?s going to go to swimming sessions after work for 2 days a night. He has been talking about that for a long time so I told him that he should have taken swimming sessions sooner, but this his what he told me ?? I can?t go now swimming after work because I have to eat diner with (his male friend). I said wow your male friend is a big boy and it?s just 2 nights a week, I?m sure he can eat alone, but he replied that it was complicated.
I thinking that he?s gay and is using me because his co-workers must have asked question about why he?s single and has no girlfriend or he?s not married, they must have wondered too if he was gay.
In the bedroom the s..x is the worst s..x I have ever had, he seems not comfortable with a woman?s body.
Sorry this is so long, but there were very important facts to write and do you all think that he?s gay and do I assume he?s gay or asked him if he?s gay?.or simply assume that he?s gay and brake up with him?.one thing for sure is that I like men and I?m staying a woman so there?s no way I want to be involve in a relationship with a gay guy.
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I need advice, painful situation with ex. please help. :(?
This might come out a little long, but please help. I was in a serious relationship with this young man for about three years. Unfortunately our relationship suffered a lot of turmoil, and we ended up breaking up. Throughout our relationship we had several mini breakups, but we always got back together quickly. However, last February we "broke up" but nothing had changed. Absolutely nothing. Although, we started fighting A LOT. I was scared and insecure because he had lied to me and left me more times than I could count on one hand. I always had a bad feeling that SOMETHING wasn't right but I couldn't pinpoint it. So he left me for his little brother's ex girlfriend. I was so crushed, I totally cut him out of my life. I did not speak to him for about 5ish months. After 5 months he texted me saying he was sorry for all the pain he put me through, and he was sorry for all the bad things he did for me. By this time, I had built myself back up. I was confident, and I had worked through all the issues I had. ( He verbally beat the shit out of me towards the end of our relationship- he would withdraw from me emotionally as punishment, he would blame me for his mean actions toward me, he would scream at me, call me names (he had me convinced I was "crazy"), and just plain belittle me). So by the time he decided to apologize, I decided to let him back in my life, as a friend. He quickly realized that he made a mistake, and that he "missed me and still loved me." And he realized his new girlfriend was ACTUALLY mentally unstable. So he broke up with her. And he had been trying to win me back. HOWEVER. A few months after he had been trying to win me back (sending me love letters, being extremely affectionate, taking me out, etc) one of his friends came to me.. and informed me that for the past three years he had cheated on me. And never told me. Words can't describe how much that hurt. :( I confronted him, and he actually admitted it... Since then, I have had NO trust for him. But I've been trying to work through it. He kept saying he was a changed man, that he learned from his mistakes and he'd never do that to me again. I've been really cautious, and have been just friends with him. I know this sounds crazy, because after all that he's done to me, I shouldn't want anything to do with him, right? :( He was my first love and my first everything (I was with him from age18-21). And I just couldn't kick him out again. But recently, he had this girl and two other people stay at his house for the weekend... I had a horrible feeling in my gut that something wasn't right. I was insecure and afraid he was interested in this girl, because it had happened before and he was unfaithful to me. So I tried to talk my feelings out with him. Mind you, he told me he would be there for me and would help me try to talk through my insecurities. Well, he absolutely freaked out. He blamed me for my insecurities, blamed me for his actions towards me, told me I "live to make him miserable, and I'm a waste of his time." He told me never to call him again because he never wanted to hear my voice again. He screamed at me because I apparently "refuse to see that he is a better person now." I feel so hurt, he is abandoning me again. He told me he was done with me. I feel so hurt and so guilty. I know that my insecurties can be a be a bit irrational...But he has done so much in the past its hard for me to trust him. And I've been trying to work out those feelings, and he said he would stick by me and help me do it. Now hes totally changing his tune and blaming me for everything just like he used to. I don't know what to do. I feel abandoned and like this is all my fault. And I feel stupid for giving him so many chances because in the end he always does the same thing. :( I dont know what to do, how to feel, or how to handle this. I feel so lost and so sad. Please help me. Please.
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in LOVE with my best friend ! need advice, please !?
okay, this is gonna be long.
i truly am in love with my best friend.we both recently turned 19 years old and we have been best friends since he was 6 weeks old, that makes it almost 19 years. i LOVE this guy to death. we went to pre school together, elementary school together, and intermediate school together, but we live on the border of each others towns so we went to different high schools, but we saw each other everyday anyway. we clearly are the definition of best friends. everyone we know, mostly our families say that we are going to get married and we are going to go on one date as soon as we graduate college and fall in love on the spot and get married. man i hope this is true. we both now go to separate colleges, but we still talk and video chat each and everyday. we are both single and I've only dated one other guy, whom he didn't want me to date because he hated him and i should've trusted him. the guy was a douche. anyway, neither of us never had a serious relationship, but i know if we were together we could truly have one. he is the best guy i have EVER met and is like my brother, but I'm in live with him! what do i do? i have no idea how to tell him! i don't think i am good enough for him, but i know we can make that perfect couple. he always tells me how beautiful i am and he still talks about the day we get married and how big and wonderful our wedding will be! the thing is i want to start this wonderful relationship now, but i don't know how to tell him? please help! im scared to just go up to him and tell him, all of our friends have been telling me to for FOREVER ! i am just too scared and nervous !
thank you,
me
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