Problem With The Rebound Relationships
One of the most common mistakes in a relationship is the rebound. For those of you who do not know what a rebound relationship is, let's start with that. The definition of a rebound relationship is jumping into a committed relationship very quickly after the end of a committed relationship. Many people fall into this type of trap as they are trying to move on from a break up. There are healthy ways to get past the dissolution of a relationship and a rebound relationship definitely does not belong in that list. There are many reasons not to rebound with someone right after a committed relationship. Some of them include trying to replace an ex, not enough time to heal, and you can hurt the person you start dating.
First of all, dating someone on the rebound is not a good idea because many people who date on the rebound are trying to replace their ex. Many people in this position have low self-esteem and rebound in order to have someone to be with. Loneliness can be a very motivating factor to push someone into a relationship before they are ready. Do not let this happen to you. The break up of a relationship is painful and there is not a quick fix to get over it. Respect yourself enough to just take the time you need to get over this hurtful experience. Rebounding will not help you get over the breakup or replace your ex significant other. It will only cause problems in your life.
Another reason you do not want to try to rebound is that you will not have enough time to heal. This was talked about briefly when discussing trying to replace your ex. Respecting yourself and getting to know yourself again is the only way to get over being dumped. Jumping into another serious relationship does not allow enough time for you to do either of these things. Take some much needed time to grieve over your relationship, and then you can decide what type of role you want to have in the dating game. There is no hurry, so don't rush. Playing it safe and smart after a break up is always a good idea.
A final reason that you don't want to get immediately back into a relationship when you get dumped or break up with someone is that there are other people's feelings to consider. Think about if you jump into a serious relationship and then realize you aren't ready for it. The person you are dating might be extremely hurt by this. Considering others' feelings is very important as you do not want any more hard feelings between you and another person. If you move too quickly into a relationship and then back out, that leaves the other person possibly devastated. Moving more slowly into a relationship can help better the chances that someone else may be hurt.
Obviously rebounds are not a healthy way to get back into the dating scene. So many things can go wrong if you do this, and risking more pain when you are not over the first heartache will not help. Take time to get over your broken relationship, learn about yourself and who you are, and what you want out of a new relationship. By doing this, you may spare yourself and someone else the pain of another break up.
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If you were given a choice, who would you pick to be with, someone who is good for you or someone you want?
Definition of someone who is good for you, is someone that you love of course, but has everything that lets say your previous, wife, gf etc didnt' have, and fullfills your every need. You are very happy, and its a safe relationship.
Definition of someone you want is someone that you look at and say wow, i want him/her, and someone you have always wanted to date or be with. That person also makes you happy and provides almsot everything that you would need in a relationship but maybe a little bit short of "someone who is good for you". These are also generally the people you pursue harder to get as opposed to the "safe" one where the both of you just kinda gel over time, and have very similar interests in everything.
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Do you feel this song represents the modern women?s views of casual sex?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRxAv3xNdbo
(poster of a girl - metric)
To me, this song portrays the modern views of casual relationships very powerfully. A women longing for affection and trust, and finds that a ?one night stand? really isn?t filling the void inside her. I feel that such loose relationship definitions can be very damaging to some women.
I guess the question I pose is? are loosely defined relationships healthy for women?
I?m not trying to cluster ALL women together here, to each there own.
jo jo... fine words
ronnie... not tryin to pick a fight, but don?t you think that blaming women for EVERYTHING is getting a little old? besides, it takes two to tango?right?
Katiana... you are 100% correct. I just felt the need to point out the consensus among youngsters today might not be the best route for all. Casual sex can be detrimental, even if the intentions of both parties involved were candid and sincere.
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Positive Relationships Definition?
Like friendly relationships, not love relationships.
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