Abusive relationship counseling?
This is a very serious question and I know a lot of people are going to think why even try but this is something we want so if anyone could answer this question without being rude I would greatly appreciate it. So, me and my partner have had some troubles, not often, but when we get into a fight that neither of us can agree on or if it just gets out of hand then it usually turns out like this. One of us is trying to leave, the other one of us is trying to stop them from leaving and before you know it the communication barrier and all the tention and anger leads to violence. Not full blown blows or anything, but like grabbing each other , shaking, throwing each other , pushing, shoving and on rare occasion choking, we always seem to make up and by the end of the night we still love each other and know we need to learn to communicate better so things don't escalade to the point of screaming, crying etc. But when we lay down and finally calm down, if u look around us things are broken, we are bruised and in pain. We would like to fix this and I think seeking counseling would be best but can we go to a counseling place and share that we are abusive towards each other and want help without them throwing either of us in jail?

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24 yr old step mom? is it for me..?
here is a bit of history I have been invovled with my current ex for 5 years. We dated for two and half years and lived together. Everything was great, he was good to me until I started feeling insecure when his ex contacted him and when he would go home on school breaks from college they always seemed to go to the movies or just hang out. It made me uncomfortable. He would tell me they are just friends and if he is telling me about her that therebis nothing to hide. From there on out I became a snooper, I would question him about any girl and It would always lead to arguments. In one incident his best friend introduced him to a girl named veronica over the phone, it just so happened that he was going back home from a school break again. I seen text messages between him and veronica and they werent just friend type of text messages. But again when I would bring this up, I would be he bad guy for snooping. well things just kept getting worse, we broke up. A week after he kicked me out, His ex girlfriend flew down for spring break. I found out again by snooping. and again he saw nothing wrong with a "a friend coming down to visit him". I feel that made me more insecure... We tried again after but it just got worse. I felt he gave me a reason to be insecure and he felt that wasnt the case. We since we have both have not been "officially" together we argued more. There were times we acted like bf and gf and we did everything the same except without a title.. Well I would find out he was sleeping with other girls and I would get angry and he said I have no right to be angry because we werent together.. this was just an on going cycle.. I feel he gave me a reason to feel insecure which made me lose my mind and I snooped. He says its my fault for being insecure and all i wanna do is argue which is why he doesnt make me his girlfriend. well, this past summer we didnt talk at all. then about october he contacted me and suggested relationship counseling.. it seemed to help but he said he still wasnt going to be in a relationship with me until I proved I am not going to snoop and or argue. well we continued to argue here and there and still have contacted emotionally and physically. He just informed me he got a 38 year old pregnant and has been having a sexual casual relation with this lady since octobe. I feel betrayed but him and his fam feel i should feel like a victim because we werent official. He just turned 23. this lady is 38 with 3 kids already. He says he wants nothing to do with her and wants me to be there and be the babys step mother.. he says he loves me but i still argue and he doesnt want me there if im going to argue and make this all about me. No one seemes to understand how hard this is for me to realize my first everything is with him, and now someone else is having his first baby. and experience i wanted just between us.. I feel selfish and evil.. I will never be first because I am second to a child that isnt mine.. I will have to deal with the fact that this lady will be there forever.. I just dont know what to do.. I have expressed this to him but he just gets mad.. any advice is appreciated... to the answers below, his "loop hole" is we havent officially been boy friend and girlfriend since we broke up.. so although we were still acting like we were together and going to counseling I "shouldnt feel he cheated because he is my boyfriend officially" its crazy.. because title or no title i feel he still disrespected me and i do feel betrayed.. it would of been different if we broke up and those two years we moved on and didnt have any contact or we were strictly just friends but we werent "just friends". but yet he says he loves me and his family loves me and he wants me to be his wife and step mom but yet we still arent together because this situation has caused me to argue even more..

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Should I be concerned about my girlfriend going out with her ex husband?
I have been divorced for a year. My ex wife and I talk on the phone or email each other. I might run into my ex wife at the mall on my second job. But I do not go out to dinner with my ex. No way. My GF has been divorced for 8 years. To make a long story short, her ex husband is a Enoch. He can make out with a girl but when it comes to sex, he freezes up. Women interpret that as playing hard to get and try to force themselves on him and then get mad when he doesn't respond to their advances. He's not gay. He's not interested in guys. That's not it. He was raised in a very religious home and he grew up believing that sex is dirty and shameful. He remained a virgin until he was married and as far as I know, he remained a virgin after my GF divorced him. "He couldn't" is what she said. I am not a doctor but people who deal in relationship counseling and sex therapy have told me that from what they know of him he is less of a threat to my GF than for her to go out with a gay guy. He's not only not interested in sex with women, he's not interested in sex with anyone ever. My GF said that during puberty, he had no sexual curiosity whatsoever. I don't really get how my GF could have dated him for a year and then been married to him for 6 years. She tried to have sex with him while they were dating. He said "God thinks this is wrong." Dating, he sounded like a Christian knight in shining armor. Married, he just didn't say anything and suddenly the knight became a freak. I was raised in a very strict Catholic home and my mom wanted me to become a priest. She feared that I would get a girl pregnant when I was in school because he brother did and it ruined his life. Then she really didn't want me to marry or have kids at all. I have found that seeing a sexual therapist has helped me, along with Levitra for my ED. But apparently his problem is much more severe than my own and I really can't compare myself to him. Anyway, getting back to my original question. I just don't like the idea that she is going out to dinner with her ex husband. They had problems in bed, and may have never even consummated their marriage but she was sexually attracted to him in the past and I fear that could rekindle again. The last time they went out to dinner, about 6 months ago, she told him that she was seeing me. He told her that he was also seeing someone. That eases my mind a bit. The last time they went out, I asked her if I could come along and meet him. It was a family day in the city. She brought her nieces and they went to the movies and out to lunch and had a family day. But she hadn't told him about me yet and she was afraid that my being there might "hurt his feelings." Ironically, about a month later, I told my GF that I was going out to dinner with my ex girlfriend. She told me that she didn't mind but told me that she would like to meet her. It seems hypocritical that after she refused to allow me to meet her ex-husband that she would insist on meeting my ex-girlfriend. About two weeks ago, my GF had to work on a Friday night. The next night she was asking me very pointedly What did you do last night? Did you go anywhere? So you went out to dinner. Did you go alone or did you go with someone? Did you go out with a girl? All these questions are coming from a woman that goes out with her ex husband and sees my questions about it as a sign that I am being jealous. Should I be concerned about my girlfriend going out with her ex husband? No, I do not know her ex husband. I have never met him. I am basing what I know about him on what she tells me. We discussed in with our relationship counselor and the counselor told me that based upon what my GF tells me and the RC that I have "nothing to worry about."

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