Common Relationship Problems - How to Understand Them in a Way That Leads to a Solution for Everyone

When you think about common relationship problems, it's a matter of being able to decide where to begin as there are so many relationship problems.

Perhaps for a start, it might be helpful to compile a list, and then expand on a number of these. This will be a random list with no level of importance attached to the positioning, and it is not exhaustive.

*Compatibility,

*Equality,

*Communication,

*Sexual Orientation,

*Trust,

*Loyalty,

*Sexual Problems,

*Intimacy,

*Connection,

*Abuse,

*Ending Relationships,

*Jealousy.

At the same time as I list these common relationship problems, I'm also aware there are a number of ways couples describe the way they see their relationship problems.

I was watching a program on The Oprah Winfrey Show just after I compiled my list above. I watch the show from time to time just to see if there is anything on the program that might be relevant to what I am doing.

On this program, as it happens, couples were asked to describe their relationships using just five words. The following words or expressions were the most commonly used to describe their relationship problems.

*Passionless,

*Lonely,

*Sucks,

*Boring,

*Empty,

*On Edge,

*Lifeless,

*Tiring,

*In a Rut,

*Indifferent,

*Stressed,

*Unfulfilled,

*Fake.

There are various ways this list of common relationship problems would be explained in terms of understanding them and offering solutions.

The expert on Oprah that day, had an explanation that I had difficulty understanding as a way of improving the situations for those couples.

Oprah was all in favor of what he was having to say, but I did wonder how much the people themselves understood the explanation, and how they would apply it in their lives.

If I look at the first list of common relationship problems that I wrote, and then look at the second list, there is one in my list that stands out to me that all those in the second list could be associated with. The word I am referring to is: Connection. Of course, several others in the first list tie in with this as well, as I will explain.

Just to clarify exactly what is meant by connection, my dictionary describes connect as meaning: 'bring together or into contact so that a real link is established.'

It strikes me all those words in the second list, describe how there is no real link established, leaving no room at all for any of the characteristics of healthy relationships.

The way I see this fitting in with the first list of common relationship problems, is that in order for two people to connect in a relationship, the first requirement is there has to be equality between the couple.

This means each person has the same status, each is on the same level. Let's not kid ourselves, as much as we might like to think inequality is a dead issue, it is alive and well.

In all the couples I have seen as a counselor, one of the most common relationship problems I have seen is what I identified as inequality between them. It created an imbalance where partners were on different levels. I have seen it so often I came to refer to it as 'the same old story'.

Where there is inequality, or people don't have the same status and are not on the same level, there is an ongoing inevitable tension between couples.

This invariably means there are relationship issues associated with relationship communication problems, trust in relationships, sexual relationship problems, abusive relationship issues of all types, and a lack of real intimacy.

All these common relationship problems are an outcome of inequality in my view, and it doesn't need to be like this. The solution is really very simple. All you have to do for a start is to put your ego aside and look into it. You'll be so glad you did as there is much to gain for everyone, and nothing to lose.

Leo Ryan is a counselor with over twenty years experience in the field dealing primarily with relationships.
He has given many talks, seminars and workshops on the subject, as well as being interviewed by all sectors of the media about his work.
He is passionate about people having great relationships, and his website is dedicated to that purpose.
He is the author of the ebook "How to Have An Extraordinary Relationship", now available for download at:
http://www.relationship-tips-for-you.com

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